I'm an opinionated person with an awkward sense of humor.
A look into the need for movies?
In a way there’s always one case of constancy in every movie. All movies include some type of predation. Whether it’s a guy trying to get a girl he’s fallen for or a group trying to survive a deadly environment. No matter the story line. All movies when broken down to their very core are all about predation. We as a society love to watch the protagonist fight for what they believes in or for their survival and to see them relish in the spoils of victory at the end. To fully appreciate it there always seems to have to be a worthy antagonist with unforeseen obstacles. One of the few movies I’ve seen that’s rewritten the ending was Gladiator. The protagonist did die at the end of that but in doing so he knew he saved his society and got to go to his family.
That realization about predation brings me to these questions, why do we as a society seem to need movies? What would society be with no movies or even books? Do the writers and creators of those movies provide faces and story lines to our own dreams? A few times I’ve been engrossed in a movie and then look to the side to see black. To see the hundreds of people occupying the same theater as me. All watching the same thing but all probably taking in something at least a little different. I realized that up until that moment I was so engrossed in that movie, forgetting about physics, the consistency of time, everything, to make myself believe that that movie was real. That those lives were playing out before me in anything but a fictitious environment and I was rooting for the protagonist. I realized that I needed that to compare to my life and hope mine plays out that way with a story book ending. Deep down I think everyone hopes for that because in life, story book endings are not to be had. So I do believe that society needs movies to offer us an escape from our everyday lives and to give us hope. We don’t want a movie full of puppy dogs and rainbows but some with at least a little shit thrown in. To watch the protagonist be thrown in that shit but come out on top. Without those movies and books I also believe the world would be even more of a drab place. It would make it an even darker place. A darker place because people wouldn’t be able to put a face to their dreams. People don’t clamor to movie stars because of who they are but what they have portrayed. Without that medium to have dreams played out I think our own dreams would lose some vividity. We wouldn’t dream so big and believe that one day we could live a more than fulfilling life.
In closing I would like to end with what I believe to be a fitting quote for this subject matter. “If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story.”-Orson Welles
If you had a choice would you run due east or due west? Would you run straight through the darkness knowing that soon you will feel the warmth of the light again or would you try running with the light, hoping that you have the stamina to keep up with it and stave off the darkness for good?
Self
What do you get when you add a cup of sarcasm, three quarters cup of pride, half a cup of stubbornness, one tablespoon one quarter cup of self deprecation, and a teaspoon of bullshit all mixed with a large quantity of life? Why you get me of course. It’s one effed up recipe but whatcha gonna do about it. It’s all there was to work with.
With that said, I would like to take a few minutes out of my time to evaluate myself. Do I believe I’m smart? No. No matter how you define “smart” I do not believe I fit that mold. There is too much information out there to suggest such a thing. Telling you I’m smart would be like trying to catch smoke with just your hands, we’d both look effing stupid. I would not want to view my intelligence in any other way though because I want to use it as motivation to try to learn new things every single day. Do I have a very high view of myself? That’d be a negative. Am I happy with who I am though? Yes. I believe I’ve turned into the best version of me that there could have been when calculating in my inabilities. I don’t care for money probably as much as I should but I care more for respect and honesty. That might be a rarity nowadays. In ways money can be earned easily but respect and honesty, they’re hard fought to gain and easy to lose. At times I can be sarcastic as hell but I consider that an awesome thing. Others might view it otherwise. I’m a thinker. My mind never shuts off. Think of my mind as that effed up ride at the amusement park that has the shortest lines. People go to it as a last resort to do something. wait, shit i’m stuck in it. Anyways by nature I’m not confrontational but if I get pissed off enough I will not hold back. However, since I’m usually laid back it takes a lot to get me to that point or just get me to play basketball or volleyball and have me lose cause then the shit will hit the fan. I can also argue the shit out of my point of view. In my mind I’m always right and generally speaking, I’m right about 95% of the time. I can also be the most hard headed person you will ever meet(was I just repetitive?). When I’m determined you will not get me off of my course. No clue if that’s a good thing or not. I also think basketball is the greatest sport ever. I would play it everyday if I could. The fluidity of it, creativity of passes and shots are just a beautiful thing. Wait, shit this is supposed to be a self evaluation. I’ll save that for another boring day.
I will not always have the right things to say just like I won’t always have the wrong things to say. I will have a mixed bag of right and wrong coming out of my mouth when in situations but at least I know my heart will always be pure in it’s affection and straight in its course. I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Handshakes
Whatever happened to the days when you had just a simple handshake? Where the hands move only in a vertical direction and about a foot to a foot and a half in distance? I would like to propose a man law that states that no other handshake will be used unless both parties give consent to a more rambunctious handshake beforehand. Seriously, I go into a handshake and think shit, is this going to be a traditional handshake or a fancy one? Nothing against fancy ones cause yeah it’s cool to get fancy sometimes. Do the whole fist bump and whatnot but you never really know when it’s coming. I only complain about this because sometimes I don’t fully commit to both and get stuck with a dainty handshake with a light grip that’s just not acceptable. Those dainty ones are only acceptable when I’m in a position of power and have a pinkie ring on that I expect to have kissed. Sadly, since I’m not the pope or a mob boss that will never happen to me. That is why I have been lowered to making up such a man rule. So I say that handshakes should be left simple unless discussed before the handshake takes place.
PS If you see me after this post and intentionally mess with me by throwing out various handshakes then you my friend are an asshole lol jk.
Odyssey
I find myself at a crossroads
I find myself equidistant from the warmth of the familiar and the chill of the unknown
I find myself with an unflinching conviction, a need to press into that chill
It’s time to leave the known and bring warmth to the cold
To bow my head
To grit my teeth and forge ahead
To push so hard that sweat drips from my brow and watch as it permeates light onto the ground
Ground that from that moment on will no longer be foreign
I do this with a shroud of remorse
For I know that a shadow will be cast on the familiar
A familiar that will become distant but never foreign
But eventually the chill of the unknown will be beaten down
Soon it will melt into an elongation of the familiar
Soon my life won’t be a closed circuit track as it has been
But an open ended track that will find it’s ending only
only when…
kindness
Today towards the end of the graduation I was attending somebody tapped me on the back so I looked to see who it was and it was a guy who was in one of my first semester classes, which happened to be three years ago. During one of the early class meetings that semester he asked if he could borrow a pen and I gave him one. After the class he tried to give it back but I said that he should keep it because I believed he had classes after that. Well at the graduation he shook my hand and said he still hasn’t forgotten about that pen. He noticed me in the poor lighting and shook my hand because I gave him a pen a long time ago.
I actually find that to be amazing. I never knew that such a simple act of kindness could leave such a mark on somebody. Honestly, I thought nothing of it when I gave him the pen. It was a cheap pen and that was that. It’s great to know that such an act could lead to such a level of gratitude. It makes trying to do those acts of kindness easier and more gratifying because you never know how it could affect somebody. Never know when it could give light to somebody who’s having a bad day. It gives me hope in a world that I don’t view in a great light. All I see is just power hungry people but that lets me know there’s still other people out there.
It makes me want to continue to try to help people. Granted I’ll still find the people who I hold the door open for and they don’t say “thank you” or acknowledge it in any way annoying. That does annoy the shit out of me. Then I just want to walk in after them and say “your welcome, oh and just cause I held the door open for you, don’t think your all high and mighty and that your shit doesn’t stink. it does.” Those assholes aren’t the point of this post though. It’s to show that there are still nice people out there. I think the person in question was trying to be a med student during that class three years ago and I wish him all the best in the pursuit of that.
PS. When I say “good people” I mean on the level of like holding doors open for people and generally trying to help those around you with things. I don’t mean on a level of an Angelina Jolie or other celebrities that help out like. If the world was completely filled with people like that shitting beams of gold out of their butts that’d just be boring lol jk.
Japan
After hearing about the devastating forces of nature that flexed her sheer muscle in Japan I was saddened by two things. First that it happened and second that the news just had to mention how the Yen was affected after it and that stock was affected. There’s more to living then just money my friends. Just because the world revolves around it doesn’t mean that it needs to always be the center of attention. I’ve tried to think of a way where the world could function without money but haven’t found a way.
Anyways, I will not devote a second more to talking about how this disaster that has affected millions of lives affects the financial world. It truly saddens me to see all of the pictures and stories about what happened and is still happening. I’m Japanese and I’m extremely proud of that fact! Even though I’ve never been there I feel a connection deep inside of me. I feel like deep inside me there’s a fountain flowing with my sense of courageousness, honor and desire for knowledge. With this earth quake I feel like the foundation for that fountain was shaken but far from broken. With it’s rich sense of tradition I know it will recover. It will need time to recover and it will need help from others too. I know that will happen with the influence of a few public people we put on a high pedestal and people will be united for a while but that’s almost like a facade cause that never lasts. In a months time few will even talk about what happened in Japan.
Sorry for this scrambled blog but I felt I had to type something and this is it because I can’t really think of how to put what I feel into words.
Constancy or lack thereof
How many things in life actually remain constant? People change daily. It’s natural for them to do so as long as it’s not forced upon them. People will always enter your life and fade into oblivion. Surroundings change daily too. What was once an arid desert is now a bustling city. Almost everything cannot escape change but surrounded by all that is one of the few independent variables in life, which is time. One thing that you can always count on in life is that neither good times nor bad will last forever. That is not a bad thing. Life is full of peaks and valleys. It’s important to learn how to combat and embrace both. During the bad you just need to take it, let it stretch you just close enough to your breaking point so that you begin to fray but don’t snap. Always keep in mind that in time you will bounce back with such force that you’ll forget your weary state. The more you stretch the greater the tension, the greater the force to bring you back. It’s important to revel in the good times and enjoy them as peacefully as possible but to remember in the back of your mind that good times don’t last forever. I don’t care who you are, whether a pessimist or optimist, you will encounter a plethora of ups and downs in your life. It’s best to embrace them and let them mold your character instead of breaking it.
So accept that everything around you changes. Everything goes through transformations. If I held a rock in my hand today and again in a year it would not be the same rock dimensionally. It would be weathered, beaten down like everything else. Depending on where you are that rock could be smoother or it could have become more jagged. Likewise, in time of getting beaten, compressed and scorched that rock could theoretically turn into a diamond. “Great” things such as diamonds aren’t made overnight and at times the synthesis into something that holds a certain level of “substance” is brutal but it can always be done with patience. Time knows no pity, no hurt, no weariness because it’s inhuman. It will remain constant for you to feel all of those. It’s up to you to bludgeon your way through it or to meticulously navigate your way through.
